“I feel free when I am in nature. I haven’t spent a single day without abuse. People bullied me, hurt me, betrayed me. I was always strong, always. Some days some clients would take me to the jungle for sex and use me badly. I have no complaint with anybody. When I feel alone, devastated, I come to this place. I come here to cry loudly. I cry the loudest cry. I feel free; I feel I can live another day.” – Bobita, a 21-year-old transwoman. Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan
by Mohammad Rakibul Hasan (dhaka, bangladesh)
Inter Press Service
DHAKA, Bangladesh, Sep 08 (IPS) - Abandoned by family and friends, transgender people in Bangladesh are subject to extensive daily abuse. The existing and continuously growing transphobia and homophobia in society are obstacles in the lives of this group. The people featured here from the LGBTQ+ community share a wide variety of narratives.
The photo story “The Forbidden Love” seeks to elevate and celebrate love. It portrays the transgender community’s desire to live with and within love. The vividness of their expressions, their enchanting bonding with partners, and their honesty – all of these made these photographs possible – act as a catalyst to destroy stereotypes.
This project is perhaps a way to explore the infinite and beautiful gradient of the representation of love. It attempts to redefine love beyond the gender identities and stigmas through the true reflection of their personas.
“The Forbidden Love” is a collaborative photo project with the LGBTQR+ community in Bangladesh. They have been fighting for their fundamental rights to live with and love their chosen partners and equal rights. The interviews with the LGBTQR+ community was source material to recreate their memories and transform them into photographic montages.
“I feel free when I am in nature. I haven’t spent a single day without abuse. People bullied me, hurt me, betrayed me. I was always strong, always. Some days some clients would take me to the jungle for sex and use me badly. I have no complaint with anybody. When I feel alone, devastated, I come to this place. I come here to cry loudly. I cry the loudest cry. I feel free; I feel I can live another day.” – Bobita, a 21-year-old transwomanDhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan “It was love at first sight. We stared at each other and knew there is something. I was hurt, betrayed, tortured in the past. For a transwoman, love is like poison, and it kills the heart. But my partner left his world for me. We are together for one year now. I know there are days when he misses his family – who have stopped talking to him. He says someday they will accept us. I do not hope for anything. As long as we are together, life is beautiful.” – Ash is an 18-year-old transwoman who had to leave home at the age of nine due to societal humiliation. Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan “Every day, we fear to lose each other. Being a trans-couple in a transphobic society is hard. We cannot do simple things that a normal couple does. We have no ties with our biological families. Our families abandoned us. For almost four years, we are in a relationship. I feel fragile when I heard how many people are dying from coronavirus (COVID-19). If something happens to my partner, I will not be able to bear the grief.” – Sonia, a 28-year-old transgender woman living with her partner.Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan “I have learned to love myself in a hard way. Every door I knocked on was closed for me once my identity was revealed. No one wanted me or accept as a woman. When I left home, no one tried to stop me, no one chased me, and no one wanted me to come back home. I was all alone in a city, and it was a strange feeling of not being wanted by anyone. Then I found my community, the people who always stand beside us. They are like me, and they are my original home. But still, my heart bleeds when my past family asks me to go back to them – but as a man. I cannot betray myself,” – Lara, a 23-year-old transwoman who works as a professional dancer.Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan “Love is a disease. It almost killed me. After seven years in a relationship, my boyfriend disappeared, I searched for him everywhere, but he finally married another woman. He could have told me the truth. Love is not about robbing someone. I was hurt and about to kill myself. It was not because of the betrayal but for the feeling of being unwanted and unloved. I have met many men since then. But none of them conquered my heart. The door of my heart is now closed forever” – Bristy, a 25-year-old transwoman. Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan “We want to spend our life together; we want to grow old together. Every time I look at his eyes, I know he is my home. Some days it feels hard, but when he holds me tight, I feel we are living in heaven, and the outside world does not exist anymore” – Ash. Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan “At the age of eleven, I took the longest train ride. I left home to save my parents from social embarrassment. I also left my long-time boyfriend. We have not spoken for eight years or more. A year ago, I first called him during the lockdown in 2020. He picked my call and said, how dare I am to call him. So, I blocked the number and never called again. I am living my life, doing training, and learning new skills every day. I love what I have become, a strong human being. I no longer want to cry; there might be not a single drop left in my eyes to cry for anything. Something big has died a long ago inside me.” – Trisha, a transwoman with her new boyfriend. Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan “My husband said I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. I trust him. Because he deeply loves me. His love has changed my life, healed my wound, and poured my heart. In the past four years, we made a beautiful home together. When he came to our guru to ask my hand, my guru questioned how long he would stay. He said till death and beyond. I never cried in front of him because he could never see me sad. I am a transwoman, I have been through heartache, and I was ridiculed, tortured, and mocked. That is his love that made me believe I am a human being too. Last year my husband went to Kuwait. He wants to build our future; he does not want me to work in a way that could humiliate me in any way. He brought me back to my guru and begged her to keep me safe till he returns. I never knew how beautiful life could be before I met him. His father calls me and visits me with big fish. He calls me daughter-in-law. I have lived all the happiness that was reserved for me in this world. Now I want my husband never to return to me. He should marry a normal girl and have a child of his own. I cannot deprive him more. I have decided to leave. To let him enjoy the life any normal man could live, with no judgment, with a gaggle of small children and respect from the society. The love I already have is enough to spend one life.” – Karishma, a 28-year-old transwoman. Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan “It could be our last embrace, our last meeting. We might never see each other again. We live with this fear. My partner is leaving for the village. His family asked him to move with them. He has a wife and a child. I do not want to hold him back. But I knew well, no matter how far he stays, he will miss me every time he breathes” – Sakira (25) and Robin (27), a trans-couple in their last embrace. Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan “Sometimes, I feel like a bird. My feathers fly in the air, so light that it never touches the ground. Or is it my heart that feels like a bird? Yes, my heart moves from place to place, sometimes in transit from present to past. And I have no barrier to cross, neither I had a home to choose. I only stay where my heart wants to belong.” – Konok, a transwoman. Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan “For us, love is fleeting, temporal, and complicated. Perhaps this is the destiny of a transgender person. Many girls from my group overbreak up to kill their hearts. I have been in love many times. It’s always new, it’s always precious, but it’s always transient. And every time I lose someone I love, I have to accept it. You can never deny the harsh reality of a society where being a transwoman is considered a curse in families. Although there are memories of love and agony that no one can erase, not even I, love is magical” – Lara, a 23-year-old transwoman with her partner. Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan “I grew up in terrible loneliness. I wanted to talk to someone, but no one was there to listen to me. It was about my body and mind. So, I left home knowing well no one will come to take me back. So, I have never lived a normal life. And love has always been a forbidden venture for me.” – Lara, a 23-year-old transwoman, and a professional dancer. Dhaka, Bangladesh 2021 Credit: Mohammad Rakibul Hasan