Global IssuesSOUTH SUDAN: Women Perpetuate Culture of Submission
All day Rosalinda Duany sells vegetables from her stall at the local market, earning a living to feed her family while her husband spends his days idling with his friends.
But when his days become too boring and he demands his conjugal rights, Duany wordlessly stops work just to oblige him.
She’s lived this way for years, and has not once complained about it because, she says, it is part of her culture to be obedient to her husband.
And she is not the only one who thinks that way. It is not uncommon for women in south Sudan leave their workplace during work hours, just to return home to feed their husbands and even prepare the water for his bath.
Walking through most towns such as Juba and Torit, in south Sudan, men can be seen seated in groups playing cards and chatting the day away, as women are busy ensuring there is food for the family. Despite the women’s central role in keeping the family together, culture has deeply skewed the perception of leadership in favour of men.
Having been at war with itself for many years, and with the loss of many lives — particularly those of men — the role of women in south Sudan has largely changed to that of breadwinner and pillar of the family, in a society whose style of governance is still highly patriarchal.
'Many times I leave my stall at the market place, where I sell vegetables, to attend to my husband — who spends most of his time chatting with friends and drinking coffee at the shopping centre,' Duany explains.
'Because he’s idle all day he keeps himself busy sometimes by demanding his conjugal rights, even though that means me stopping what am doing.'
She says it is part her culture to do whatever her husband demands. But women’s rights activists says it goes further than that and means women still perceive themselves as being inadequate.
'Sadly women are not helpless victims of these circumstances, but active agents in perpetuating this culture. Even where the stability of the home lies squarely on the woman, she still perceives herself as inadequate for roles traditionally deemed suited for men,' says Flora Iliha Matia, vice-chairperson of the Women’s Union of Torit County in Eastern Equatoria state.
'Often we have visited homes and found only women and children. The woman will tell you ‘no one is at home’, because the husband is absent. Culture has it that the man is the head of the household, so a woman can receive visitors but cannot speak on behalf of the family.
'By saying that no one is at home, even though she clearly is, she means to pass the message that she cannot be of any help, since the husband is absent,' said Iliha Matia.
Her remarks are echoed by Agnes Leju, a civil servant in Eastern Equatoria State, who said it was not unusual for a man to pick his wife up from her workplace in order for her to prepare water for him to bath, even if she was busy.
'Women not only tolerate these situations, but regard them as parallel to norms and values of a good wife. It would be very unusual for a woman to raise the issue as a matter of concern. Sometimes she will leave work briefly in the course of the day to give the husband his conjugal rights. It happens.'
Leju says she has not encountered any woman who has been in conflict with her boss for leaving work to attend to her husband’s needs, because most of them (bosses) are men, and understand the situation because they, too, demand that this be so.
Acline Aker, has been married for two years, and feels it is a wifely duty to be at her husband’s beck and call.
'Most of these things, like preparing bath water and setting out the clothes he will wear, are things he can do himself — but it’s not right that he does them. That’s why he married me, to take care of him.
'These discussions about going against what our culture are the roots to a broken marriage. I do my wifely duties gladly, even when I have to interrupt my work at the farm,' says Aker.
These women are unaware that their behaviour perpetuates gender-stereotyped attitudes, which diminish the likelihood of society changing the perception that women are suited only to bear and rear children.
The ability of society to acknowledge the productive capacity of women, especially in the political arena, can by-and-large be brought about only by women breaking into roles not culturally ascribed to them.
'In our society the word woman provokes images of reproductive roles, and women clearly are not doing much to change the situation. This hinders women’s opportunities to infiltrate decision-making processes,' says Betty Ponj Joseph, member of the parliamentary committee on gender and social welfare, in Central Equatoria State.
'These are the perceptions used to measure women’s rights and their ability to occupy the political realm. Unless women start working towards diluting them, then culture will continue to stifle women’s chances of rising to their full potential.'
She adds that according to their culture, women are not allowed to sit with the men to share ideas. It is a social contradiction that women run the home, and make key decisions on the lives and future of their families every day, yet this ability cannot be transposed into governance, even at local level.
The masculine structures of governance undermine what scholars term the greatest democratic value in any society — gender equality.
'You can actually determine the maturity of any democracy by looking at the way it treats its women. The cultural identities of both genders affect political values, and determine the weight with which gender equitability is approached,' says Ken Santo, a journalist in Juba.
'Sadly, it appears that women hold these skewed political values more than their male counterparts.
'It largely has to do with how we are socialised. Often I hear women make remarks such as ‘let me speak even if I am a woman’. Such statements endorse the perception that women aren’t leadership material,' he adds.
When south Sudan was near total destruction, and many men lost their lives in the battlefield, women upheld whatever little sense of humanity that could be salvaged. 'Yet this strength of a woman to withstand the most desperate situations for the people who depend on her should speak volumes about what they can do if accommodated into the political space,' Santo argues.
He says for women to become engaged in national politics, they must stop the behaviour and manner of speech that continue to devalue them and fuel gender bias. But it’s a delicate balancing act. Women are not seen as leadership material unless they act like men, but once they do, derogatory remarks are directed at them.
No one understands this better than Sabina Dario Lokolong, speaker in the Eastern Equatoria state legislative assembly. She is 39 and unmarried, with no children.
'I am accused of dating every man I am deemed to be close to. Many people are surprised that I have climbed this high politically as a single woman, as I have been called all sorts of names, and my ‘crime’ is that I am not married.
'I am comfortable in my own skin; I will not marry to suit culture and its tradition.'
A grown woman in south Sudan has no identity other than the one she acquires once she gets married, and traditionally arranged marriages during childhood are common,' Santo continues.
It is key that the south Sudan community shift the political order to accord women space to express themselves, but real change must come from the women themselves. Not only are they in the majority, but also have a women’s movement begun more than three decades ago.
Time will tell how badly Sudanese women want to enjoy the right to be equal partners in governing, but the status quo works against that goal.
It may take a long while before women like Duany realise there are roles for themselves beyond what culture demands.
'It’s my culture and my duty as a wife to submit to him. We have lived this way for many years, and I haven’t complained even once.'
© Inter Press Service (2009) — All Rights ReservedOriginal source: Inter Press Service